the Journey

Well, the time is nigh!  Pre-op appointment was yesterday afternoon, surgery is next Tuesday, the 17th!  I have spent the last month inundating myself with information, FB groups, blog posts, success stories, pins for recipes, protein powder subscriptions, etc.  I am ready.  The fears are lessened as I armor myself with support and information, and I know that with prayer and the right attitude and determination, I can become the person God has designed me to be. As part of all the various support groups I have become part of, I have learned some new terminology.  Daily, actually multiple times daily, various persons within these groups will share parts of their journeys.  Almost always, these posts include their "stats".  Their HW/SW/CW/GW, being their high weight, surgery weight, current weight, and goal weight.  In that vein, I wanted to share MY stats, as a way to reinforce my beliefs and goals throughout the upcoming marathon journey. HW:...

So,  I'm really not posting this for anyone else's consumption, though others will be able to view, but for myself.  So that I can lay out my fears related to the surgery I've decided to have. This won't be eloquent or pretty, it's just my raw thoughts on the what ifs of weight-loss surgery and what follows. What if it doesn't work?  What if I ask my family to make this financial sacrifice and I'm still overweight and unhealthy and unhappy at the end? What if I'm really the problem? What if I can't stick to the diet?  What if I ruin my own success?  What if I really have no self-control and can't do it? What if I never look in the mirror and am happy with what I see?  What if I become obsessed with my appearance? What if I'm still not active with my kids?  What if I'm still a side-line mom?  What if I still let my fears and insecurities keep me from being participative in their milestones? What if I'm never able to say no to...

M had to straighten out a love triangle in the lunchroom this morning. I wish I was kidding. C took a seat next to a girl from his class to enjoy his breakfast.  Due to the table configuration, there was no chair on his other side.  Upon entering the lunchroom, CB was immediately distraught by the idea of not sitting next to C and tried to pry a chair between C and the other little girl.  When it was evident that wouldn't work, she had a meltdown.  Over my son. Seriously. M came to the rescue and repositioned C so he could sit between both girls.  What. the. crap. I can't even imagine what drama we're in for over the next 20 years.  I'm crossing my fingers for a pro-longed adolescent awkward stage and hair that sticks up in odd directions.  I'm sure I can slip a few Ben's to the Optometrist to convince him that contacts aren't an option.  Same treatment for the Orthodontist.  A few extra months in braces couldn't hurt. Y'all think I'm...

Disclaimer:  I have not been purposefully neglectful.  Second disclaimer:  this is likely to all be random. Do you know what perfectly accents a crisp black pencil skirt, gray sweater, and black pumps?  Paint.  Paint left over from priming kitchen cabinets.  Paint that would not, could not, did not come off when washed.  I think it was in my hair for two days.  I'm starting a new trend, I've been dodging calls from Vogue all week. I left my lunch in the fridge this morning.  I'll spend all day thinking about the pasta salad that could have been. When I forget to put "Call SKBH" in my phone.  I forget to call SKBH. Our new house has a lot more area that the townhouse we've been occupying for the last year.  This means that when I'm in the kitchen and need my chapstick, I burn approximately 300 calories there and back.  I've just found my new cardio. I naively thought that a group of 11 kids could entertain themselves q...

This is what we've come to.  My brain can no longer create flowy paragraphs of wonderfulness, so instead, we'll just tick off some things I've been doing/thinking about. C at next to the cute girl at school again this morning.  I don't even know. Star 94.9 has changed up it's formatting and it is blissful.  It's good music, current, relevant, etc. but no trashy pop crap.  They play a little of everything.  So, if you see me cruising down Florence Blvd, belting it at the top of my lungs while having my own private dance party, just look away. I spent money on something today I never knew I needed before.  Boot straps.  As in, remember the stirrup pants of the 90s?  Well, now you can purchase a removable stirrup.  It's for keeping your pants pulled down in your boots.  When he reads it, this will also be the first M knows of said purchase. I'm fixing to make my eight move in nine years.  No one should have to pack up their lif...

Our theme for the next 11 days:  Finish. Finish laying baseboards, finish touching up paint, finish painting the kitchen cabinets/door/drawers, finish building the kitchen cabinets/doors/drawers, finish cleaning, finish installing appliances, finish packing (who am I kidding - start packing), finish my meltdown, just finish. Do you have a good picture of my current mental state, uh huh?  Also, my husband called me this morning after he dropped C off at school to inform me that C bypassed sitting by his best bud in the cafeteria this morning in favor of sitting next to a cute little girl.  What in the actual crap? There aren't enough caramel filled chocolate Dove squares in a five mile radius to dull the pain of that turn of events. Our theme after the 12th will hopefully shift to:  Breathe.

I know that when I checked my email, my Facebook, my phone, my text messages, my work email, and my work calendar that they all say today is Tuesday.  However, based on the first three hours of my morning, I declare them all to be wrong.  I must attest, it has certainly been Monday so far. I woke up exhausted.  That really shouldn't happen.  I don't know if it's allergies, the impending move, fall tax season, or something else.  I'm just tired.  That thing that some of you are thinking it is, it's not.  She came last week. The morning can only get better when your two year old wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.  I don't know why it irritates me so for him to move at a glacial pace no matter what it is he's doing, but it drives me bonkers .  I try very hard not to be the constant "hurry up" parent, I rarely use that phrase.  However, I do think it's important to learn that there are time limits!  It shouldn't take 30 minutes ...

First, it's been almost two weeks since my last post.  So sorry to all five of you, life's just been kinda crazy. Is anyone else out there a How I Met Your Mother Fan?  No?  Get out.  No, but seriously, there's an episode I completed related to all day Saturday.  The gang has a tradition of watching the super bowl together and one year had to attend a funeral instead.  So, in order to preserve their tradition they declared an all-day media blackout the day after the super bowl and planned to watch the game together that evening.  The episode details the ups and downs of that endeavor. I had my own media blackout on Saturday.  We painted baseboards and shoemolds, and got the kitchen cabinet boxes installed along with most of the trim.  So, it took us until about 7 to finish up.  I had the DVR going for the Bama game, chili in the crockpot, etc.  So, at 2 p.m. I declared the beginning of the blackout and spent the next five hours ...

Our area got some really great news last week.  There's a new music venue that has opened up downtown with the purpose of providing a great place for local and outside talent to perform.  We have a grand history in music, but currently no great place for that music to be heard.  Thanks to some great people, we now have that place.  Friday night they held a free concert of some up-and-coming talent, and M and I jumped on the chance for a *free* date night.  Actually, it turned out to be fairly expensive because after a long and hard day at work Friday, I drowned my sorrows in the sales racks at Belk.  It was all in the name of needing something cute to wear on our date.  I saved more that what I spent.  You'd be surprised how little comfort that provided to M.  Nonetheless, I looked great for our date.  There were a couple of opening acts, one was awesome, and the main show was wonderful. I should mention that one of the people respons...

I really wasn't that into the boy bands when I was in middle school.  Sure, I religiously watched TRL every afternoon like any self-respecting teenager, but I didn't chose sides, or have a favorite band member, or go to the concerts. However, I can admit, without shame, that at the very first glimpse of the member of N*Sync rising to the platform during last night's VMAs, I was bouncing up and down on the end of my bed like I was front row at one of their concerts circa 1997.  I don't know why, I guess is was all the anticipation built up from the will they/won't they rumors over the past week or so.  It was pretty awesome.  And, thankfully, afterwards I was free to turn off the VMAs without fear of having nothing to talk about with people on Monday morning. Seriously?  I really don't listen to or watch that much main-stream music.  Is this what's out there right now?  C may never leave the house once he turns seven.  Miley, really honey? ...

Was it hard? Was it runny? Was it normal? Did it smell really bad? Was there a huge mess? What it discolored? No one tells you when you're in the beginning stages of falling in love.  Nobody wants to shatter the fairytale/"The Notebook" illusion you've created in your mind.  They just don't have the gumption to confess to you that one day when your beloved calls you at work, the above may be the extent of your entire conversation.  They don't tell you that you'll feel completely normal discussing "it".  They wouldn't dream to explain how interested you could be in "it".  Nope.  These people, these ones who've paved the way before you, who've told you your whole life that "it" is not an acceptable topic of civilized conversation, they never let you in on the secret.  One day, you'll have complete dialogs about poop.  Ah, how romantic. C has had some stomach issues off and on this week. I got called to c...

Seriously, where has the time gone?  Wasn't it just Memorial Day?  I have to start thinking about Halloween costumes?  Why didn't I learn to sew!!??  I seriously have to start buying candy every week from now until then.  Apparently Halloween in our new neighborhood is to little kids what Black Friday is to adults.  I've heard of numbers exceeding 700.  SEVEN HUNDRED KIDS.  I don't even understand that.  Then, you gotta turn around and cook turkey.  Then, it's Christmas.  If you've waited until after Thanksgiving to start shopping, well you might as well go ahead and get your name on the waiting list for the Betty Ford Clinic.  Making the list, shopping the sales, fighting the crowds, perfectly wrapping the presents in matching paper, it WILL drive you insane.  But hey, it's only the 3rd week of August, we've got time. Your home remodel update (and I promise it'll be brief), the floors are coming along, and we'...

Is it sad to be glad to come back to work on Monday just so you can sit down in a comfortable chair while the air conditioning keeps you at a reasonable temperature?  Yes, that is sad?  Well then, I'm sad. I'll back up a little first. You didn't hear from me on Thursday - you're welcome.  I promise it was better that way.  I would either have cried or killed you with one look, it was too hard to tell. However, Thursday night was wonderful.  M and I went to parent orientation at C's new preschool and left knowing he was going to have a great year.  This will be the first time my baby has to  have a backpack, with his own snacks, and learning objectives, and, and, just pass me the tissues.  My baby is too big. Friday I was in Hville for a CPE class which was about as exciting as you're imagining it was.  We had a wonderful evening at home eating a gourmet meal and watching a family movie.  No.  That's what normal peo...

You have to say that like the camel in the commercial. Yesterday on my way into work the weather person on the radio announced that the high would be 88, but it would feel like 97.  You know what that is?  A lot of humidity, a lot of wasted time on fixing hair that would look flat and lifeless at the end of the day.  Thankfully, I had my much needed hair appointment yesterday afternoon.  I got a fresh new color and cut, and I feel much better.  I know you guys don't understand how that happens.  It's ok, we don't really want you to understand because it's our party and you're not invited. C is at the age where he can have me rolling in the floor with his humor.  The other night to encourage him to eat the main part of his meal, I would give him one chip for every bite he took of the good stuff.  Stop your judgment immediately; you do whatever works at this age.  At one point he had three chips on his plate, one large, one medium, one sm...

My brother is on my list.  You know, my "it" list.  We all have these lists, and it's not through positive actions that you land on the "it" list.  I'll explain later why JT has been banished (pronounced bani-shed for dramatic Shakespearian effect), but first a couple of items of background. Early on in my relationship with M, I aggravated him purposefully.  A lot.  He couldn't figure it out.  I wasn't mean to him, I just liked to pick at him.  The car ride home after he met my brother for the first time, he confessed that now he understood perfectly. My brother has a PhD in aggravation.  (Let me stop and say that I know the correct grammatical term is "irritate" not "aggravate".  You can only aggravate in a medical context, but since that's the common turn-of-phrase, we're going with it.)  I don't think I did that much aggravating on my own while I lived at home.  Apparently though, if JT wasn't around I was per...

Thanks to a friend who has a double black belt in interior design AND finding a good deal, bedding for Cohen's room as been found.  Also, a paint color.  I know, someone stop me before I overdo it.  It's going to be super gorgeous.  I'm stoked. Also, since I'm in the business of putting your minds at ease, I've made a hair appointment.  My roots will no longer be a problem effective Tuesday afternoon. Someone in my household is a big fan of "The Devil Wears Prada".  It's not me.  I like it fine, but not to the same extent.  However, I think of the movie almost daily.  Remember that scene where they go look at the up-and-coming designers new line and Meryl Streep's facial expressions are the indicator of approval and disapproval?  The kiss of death is pursed lips.  If you get that look, back to the drawing board.  When I scroll through some of the apparel and clothing designs on Zulily, I often think to myself, "Someone sho...

I truthfully am feeling a ton better, but you wouldn't know that by listening to me.  Although they aren't very painful, my swollen tonsils have left me with a less-than-pleasant sounding voice.  A few years ago I had no voice for almost a month  I'm hoping this is not a repeat. I have been on my medication for a month, and in that time I have lost thirteen pounds.  That's ten from my original starting point back in March.  I'll be honest, I had hoped for more.  I know that's ridiculous, and at some point I have to be grateful for any and all progress.  I'm down almost twenty-five inches since this journey began, and I notice a big difference in the way my clothes feel and look.  I know had it not been for the exercising, I would never have been able to contribute to the house renovations the way I have been.  I'm sure Matt's thankful for that, also.  Perhaps tomorrow I'll post a picture, you'll just have to wait and see. Do you know...

I had a good reason for not being back yesterday as promised.  Two words:  stomach virus.  Four more words:  I felt like death.  I won't even elaborate.  The memories are too hard. There has been a ton going on the last couple of weeks, truly too much to summarize.  I'm just going to detail out this past Saturday and you'll get the picture. Saturday: Get up at 6:00 a.m. - already, you should be tired.  Take shower, get semi-presentable. Go to the grocery store for items needed for Saturday supper. Return home by 7:30 a.m. so that Husband can go get JR, and they can go take all the trash they loaded up the night before to the dump. Get toddler ready for the day.  Drive thirty minutes to the floor store to purchase all the new downstairs flooring. Pay for all the new floor. Entertain toddler while Husband and JR load all the floor (2 and 1/2 pallets worth) onto the trailer.  The boys head to the new house to unload flooring, I...

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This is what we got going on today.  Headed to the Tenneesee Aquarium for J's birthday. Uncle Matt and KK have the dual DVD player, so we got the kiddos. We're looking forward to a great day.  I'll be back tomorrow.