the Journey

So,  I'm really not posting this for anyone else's consumption, though others will be able to view, but for myself.  So that I can lay out my fears related to the surgery I've decided to have. This won't be eloquent or pretty, it's just my raw thoughts on the what ifs of weight-loss surgery and what follows. What if it doesn't work?  What if I ask my family to make this financial sacrifice and I'm still overweight and unhealthy and unhappy at the end? What if I'm really the problem? What if I can't stick to the diet?  What if I ruin my own success?  What if I really have no self-control and can't do it? What if I never look in the mirror and am happy with what I see?  What if I become obsessed with my appearance? What if I'm still not active with my kids?  What if I'm still a side-line mom?  What if I still let my fears and insecurities keep me from being participative in their milestones? What if I'm never able to say no to