the Journey

Well, the time is nigh!  Pre-op appointment was yesterday afternoon, surgery is next Tuesday, the 17th!  I have spent the last month inundating myself with information, FB groups, blog posts, success stories, pins for recipes, protein powder subscriptions, etc.  I am ready.  The fears are lessened as I armor myself with support and information, and I know that with prayer and the right attitude and determination, I can become the person God has designed me to be. As part of all the various support groups I have become part of, I have learned some new terminology.  Daily, actually multiple times daily, various persons within these groups will share parts of their journeys.  Almost always, these posts include their "stats".  Their HW/SW/CW/GW, being their high weight, surgery weight, current weight, and goal weight.  In that vein, I wanted to share MY stats, as a way to reinforce my beliefs and goals throughout the upcoming marathon journey. HW:...

So,  I'm really not posting this for anyone else's consumption, though others will be able to view, but for myself.  So that I can lay out my fears related to the surgery I've decided to have. This won't be eloquent or pretty, it's just my raw thoughts on the what ifs of weight-loss surgery and what follows. What if it doesn't work?  What if I ask my family to make this financial sacrifice and I'm still overweight and unhealthy and unhappy at the end? What if I'm really the problem? What if I can't stick to the diet?  What if I ruin my own success?  What if I really have no self-control and can't do it? What if I never look in the mirror and am happy with what I see?  What if I become obsessed with my appearance? What if I'm still not active with my kids?  What if I'm still a side-line mom?  What if I still let my fears and insecurities keep me from being participative in their milestones? What if I'm never able to say no to...